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Knight's Shadow
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Toby & Skid
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Hv3 Spotlight
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Toby & Skid: MSTers in Training in...
"WHEN ROBOTS COLLIDE" or "We Also Have Some Lovely Parting Gifts..."
by KatroZ!
[We now join our heroes for... well, now, that would be telling, wouldn't it?]
TOBY: [singing] ...I'm all out of faith, this is how I feel, I'm cold and I am shamed lying naked on the floor...
[Skid walks downstairs]
SKID: All right... who left my Natalie Imbruglia CD on? Woah! Toby? That was you?
TOBY: Oh! Yep! Sorry... it's always the last thing you hear that gets stuck in your head.
SKID: Heh heh... riiiiight... So, what's on the agenda for today?
TOBY: Uhm... nuthin.
SKID: Alright!! Finally a day to kick back...
KATLOCK: --NOT SO FAST!!!
SKID: AGH! Why doesn't HE come with an intro?! You can't just go creeping about like that!
KATLOCK: Says who?!
SKID: Well... it confuses the readers!
KATLOCK: What readers?! Haven't you fools figured it out yet? Nobody reads your trash!
TOBY: Oh yeah? Then what about our fan mail, huh?
KATLOCK: Oh, two letters. That's right. Tell me, have you any more faaaaaan mail to answer, today?
TOBY: Uh... no.
KATLOCK: There. You see?! Pathetic...
SKID: Y'know, yer a real doink!
KATLOCK: Pardon?
SKID: A crap head!
TOBY: Feeb!
SKID: Mouse morph!
TOBY: Loser!
SKID: Jerk!
TOBY: You majorly suck--
KATLOCK: SILENCE!!! This outburst of supreme stupidity and really irritating name-calling will not go unnoticed! You've gone too far, Skid & Toby!
TOBY: Nawww... I'm pretty sure we've called you names before. It's hard to imagine we wouldn't.
KATLOCK: Wh-- grrrr... QUIET, YOU! Your fan-fic, today is called "WHEN ROBOTS COLLIDE". Suffer at your leisure, for when I return I shall truly exact revenge on you!
TOBY: Yeah, sure, whatever...
>WHEN ROBOTS COLLIDE TOBY: They... uhm... blow up!
>Copyright Info SKID: Uhh... nope.
>Intro. TOBY: Got drunk one night playing Super Nintendo, woke up, wrote a story, and that brings us to... now.
>The story SKID: Mega Man gets hit by a car, he dies, the end.
>The author
TOBY: --Was reported missing last night after his babysitter stepped into his room to check on him, last night and he'd vanished. Signs leading to the conclusion that he'd run away would include his bed sheets tied together and hung out the window and the open window itself. Police will continue investigations unti--
SKID: Hey, cool it! Just because with fan-fic we can control time without the fic really interrupting us does not mean we can make the jokes longer than the story!
TOBY: Sorry...
>This story although it may not be copyrighted is the property of Megaman97@geocities.com. SKID: He couldn't afford a name, only an e-mail address.
>Please give him full credit for it. SKID: Isn't that cute? He got the voices inside his head to write the bibliography.
>You may use this as a story to tell other Mega fans,
SKID: --how bad it is.
TOBY: You haven't even seen it yet! How can you be so quick to judge?!
SKID: Because I'm a part of "Generation X!" It's my duty to bad-mouth and be cynical.
>and you can even put it on your homepage. But, PLEASE! TOBY: AGH!!!
>Do not try to pass this of as your own! AND Don't edit my story! TOBY: This wouldn't count as editing, would it?
>Besides that, please enjoy. TOBY: Will do!
>Welcome to a confusing SKID: --introduction.
>place in the history of Mega Man, half way to the truth, but a million miles
>from cold hard facts. This is the land of MegaMan97's mind. The land of artistic licensee.
TOBY: And home of the Whopper!
> THE YEAR 2094, DR. THOMAS LIGHT'S LAB
>
>*Sigh of relief* "Yes!
SKID:[voice] I've been waiting for the bathroom ALL DAY!!
>I finally finished repairs to Protoman. Now that your brother's free will is restored Mega Man,
>what are the two of you going to do?!"
BOTH: WE'RE GOING TO DISNEYLAND!
>"I don't know Dr. Light....." SKID: Me neither. I hear he's a swell guy, though.
>Mega Man hesitated, "are you sure that Protoman is finally back to my good old bro?" Mega
>Man began to shuffle his feet and started pacing.
TOBY: He's line-dancing?
>"It's just that it seems you've reprogrammed him a bazillion times, SKID:[MegaMan] Well.. at least three!
> and every time that psycho Dr. Wily is there to mess him up again." Dr. Light walked over to
>Mega Man and put his arm around him.
TOBY:[Dr.Light] Did I ever tell you how *hic* good looking you are, *hic* maaan?
>"Don't worry Mega Man, Dr. Wily is gone for good now. You and I both saw his lab collapse!
>There is NO way that anyone could survive that."
SKID: Therefor he DID survive & will continue to terrorize our heroes.
>"Well, Doc." TOBY: ...I've had this AWFUL rash in the nether-regions--
>Said Mega Man, "you realize that we fell for that 'the lab fell on me but I'm still alive'
>routine several times now.
TOBY: Yep!
>And don't forget the 'yeah I'm going to stay in jail' bid."
SKID: I lost a lot of money on that bid!
TOBY: He means "bit."
>Mega Man and Dr. Light both giggled but then Dr. Light said something Mega Man was not
>expecting.
>
>"Mega Man,"
SKID: ...will you marry me?
>Dr. Light didn't exactly no how to tell Mega Man the news he had, TOBY: [Dr. Light] I'm... I'm pregnant.
>and Mega Man could tell. "Mega Man, I'm sorry I kept this from you but I think it's time you >learned the truth. SKID: [Dr. Light] You were adopted.
>"Dr. Wily is dead." TOBY: I thought we already concluded that.
>Mega Man felt a sudden rush of guilt. He couldn't really explain it, he had never
>experienced emotions this strong before.
TOBY: Except when "All My Children" is on.
> He felt a wave of heat, then ashamed, then betrayed because Thomas, yes Thomas! His creator
>had lied to him.
SKID: God had lied to him? God doesn't lie!
>At the current period of time in Mega
>Man Dr. Lights emotion chips were just in the beginnings of experimentation, and still had a few
>bugs in them.
TOBY: Ick! Bugs!
>When Mega Man felt that rush of emotions his internal stabilization system failed.
>Mega man lost his footing and fell down.
SKID: C'mon, everyone! Point and laugh!
BOTH: HA HA!
>"OWW!" Said Mega Man. Mega Man turned his head upward to look at Dr. Light and was
>hardly
>able to make out
TOBY: ...with...
>his face. "Why didn't you tell me that Doc?" SKID:[Dr. Light] I didn't have enough commas!
>Mega Man squinted his eyes and kept on looking. "I, mean, I thought we were buds? TOBY: Y'know, bosom buddies!
>Why didn't you tell me the truth? And for that matter
>how come you know he's dead he could vary well still be alive! I mean he's done this kind of
>thin..."
TOBY: Thin crust pizza... Mmmmmm...
>Dr. Light interrupted Mega Man before he could say another word. BOTH: Thank you!
>"Mega Man the reason I didn't tell you is because I didn't want you to get hurt. I didn't want you
>to think that you were the cause of Wily's death."
SKID: Even though you DO beat the crap out outta him in every game.
>"Well," Mega Man said, "if you didn't want be to think
SKID: Wait... he has a cold?
TOBY: If you din wand be do dink...
> I was the cause of his death then why all of a sudden the bum rush?" TOBY: Speaking of "rush", where is that adorable, robotic dog?
>Dr. Light started twitching his face. Then he started loosening up his collar.
SKID: He's moving in!
TOBY: Man your battle stations!!
>"Wellllllll...." Dr. Light did not want to answer the question. SKID: Good.
>"YES." TOBY: AGHH!
>Snapped Mega Man.
>
>"I wanted to sort of...
SKID: The comma surplus is runnin dry.
>make sure that improved emotion chip of yours is working." TOBY: What a dirty trick!
>Light smiled at Mega Man searching for some support but he found none. "I guess I still have a
>few bugs in it,
TOBY: More bugs!
>I mean the way you fell down and all." SKID:[Dr. Light] Y'looked really stupid. Just how dumb ARE you?
>"No Doc...." Mega Man stepped closer to the Dr. Light, too close for comfort. TOBY: Uh oh! Here it comes! He's makin his move!
>"The chip is working perfectly fine... You want to know Why?" SKID: Eww... Noooooo...
>*GULP* Came from the Doctor, SKID: *GAG* came from the reader.
>obviously feeling anxiety. "And, Wwwww why is that Mega Man?" TOBY: Eeeee-eat crap, Dr. L!
>"Because Doc, I'm feeling a lot of SKID: ...love, right now.
>anger." Mega Man began charging up his Mega TOBY: ...dust...
>buster.
>
>"Oh no," murmured Light, "It's just as I had feared,
SKID:[Dr. Light] I forgot to pick up some milk.
>what if he breaks, what if that chip, TOBY: ...doesn't have any dip!
>that damn
>chip, if that makes him break the first law,
SKID: Oooh, ahhh, an Azimov reference. You big tough ol' fan-fic writer, you.
> oh my God!" Mega Man, started to cool of SKID: Perhaps a certain Megaman97@geocities.com needs to turn the Nintento "of."
>pondering the meaning of his masters ramblings.
>
>"What first law?" Said Mega Man. "What are you rambling about Doc? Doc,...
SKID: UNNECESSARY COMMA!!!
>you feeling okay?"
>The Dr. sat down on his laboratory table.
TOBY:[Dr. L] Oops! I killed my protozoa!
>"Don't worry Mega Man, it's not of the importance." The Doctor. smiled, leaving Mega Man
>feeling awry.
TOBY: I feel the same way, everytime I--
[SKID smacks TOBY]
>"I think I should work a little bit more on your chip for awhile. TOBY: Needs more BBQ.
> Why don't you ..." SKID: --shove it.
>"NO!" SKID: YES!
> Said Mega Man. "You've worked so hard on that chip! You're becoming obsessive! You're
>the one that needs the time out Doc!"
SKID: Go sit in the corner!
>"Well Mega Man, maybe you're right, but the truth of the matter is that I have emotions and you
>don't.
TOBY: NYAH, NYAH!
> Why don't you get some relaxation on TOBY: --Prozac.
>Zelpath 4 why I work on the chip, and try to stay away from people!" SKID:[Mega Man] Why're YOU trying to stay away from people?
>"Well, Okay Doctor but get some sleep okay? By the way, what is this Zelpath 4 place anyway?" SKID:[Dr. L] Dunno... made it up.
>Dr. Light smirked at Mega Man and said:
>
>"A colony full of other
TOBY: --gay--
>robots, you probably won't have any trouble making friends, and it's 67% female."
TOBY: Sign me up!
>Mega Man ran to get Proto and they started to pack up. "O.K. Bro." Said Proto, "but what if
>Wily attacks?" Mega Man told Proto the bad, well the news at any rate.
SKID: How about at a rapid rate? I'd like to get through this as soon as possible and with as few scratches as can be.
>"Oh well, darn." Said Protoman.
TOBY: [sniff] He's so deep in mourning! [sob] They must've really loved eachother! [gasp] Oh, why don't we share such love?! [wheese]
SKID: GAH! STAY AWAY!
>Mega Man couldn't tell how Proto could be so TOBY: --stupid.
>insensitive, but then he realized Proto had no
>emotion chip.
SKID: Aw, man. Data must've stole it before Star Trek: Generations.
> "Wait a minute, how do you know he's dead? He could of survived the collapse of the lab." TOBY: Y'know, like in every other Mega Man game.
>"Light said they found a massive loss of body fluid when they picked up the remnants of the
>.laboratory. The DNA matched Wily's."
TOBY: What? Blood, or did he just wet his pants all over the place as the lab went crashing down?!
>"Tough break, eh bro?" SKID:[Mega Man] I dunno. I didn't watch him die. I'd imagine his bones were shattered into pieces, yeah.
>"Yeah," said Mega Man, "guess so..."
TOBY: Ohhh... now he'll have no evil nemesis to defeat over and over and over again.
>When Mega and Proto got to Zelpath 4 they were living in it. SKID: No crap. I thought that was the whole idea!
> Jacuzzi's, water beds, mints on the pillows, TOBY: Those little shampoo and hand lotion thingies, free towels-- err... uh... nevermind.
> and everything a robot could ever want. SKID: Sure, rusting in the jet propelled pool, not having any use for sleep, getting chocolate and mint gummed up in it's gears...
>You could even get your oil lubed while eating breakfast.
TOBY: Sign me up for that, too! Rowl!
SKID: AGH! [slaps TOBY upside the head]
> Life was great and that's without including all the heavenly bodies Proto and Mega Man
>got to see.
SKID: For, unfortunately, they had passed away that very evening after an unfortunate mishap with some magnets.
> Oooh la la! It appeared life couldn't get any SKID: --dumber.
>better. Wily was gone, Light got to work on
>his experiments in peace, Mega and Proto were getting a kick ass tan,
TOBY: In that the other robots had kicked them in the ass for even thinking that it was possible to tan metallics.
>and everything fell into perfect TOBY: --confusion.
>unison. Until one cool night when the six moon and the fourth moon of Zelpath 4 fell in perfect
>alignment and some sort of cosmic anomaly occurred.
SKID: They quickly picked up the latest Teen Magazine and checked their horoscopes.
> A blue ray of light, blinding to the naked eye beamed through the fourth moon passed the six
>moon and
TOBY: --pulled into the nearest McDonalds for a potty-break.
>grounded on Zelpath4. Although the phenomenon lasted a few seconds SKID: --it was still pretty annoying.
>it left It's impact. A portal of some sort appeared down the beach six miles from Mega Man's
>resort. Mega Man, although he did not know it at the current period of time, was going to have
>his world turn upside down.
> STAY TUNED FOR PART 2 OF ROBOTS COLLIDE! - THROUGH THE PORTAL!
SKID: He wouldn't DARE!
TOBY: D'oh!
>About the author: TOBY: Yeah, what's up with him?
>The author of this story is Mega Man 97, SKID: From Microsoft.
>although I got hooked to Mega Man when Mega Man 2 came out the Mega Man games kick ass. SKID: I couldn't afford enough commas to make any of this make sense. Sorry.
> I hope you like this story, and the sequels are coming soon. See ya.
TOBY: Well, that could've been a lot worse.
SKID: I suppose. Aside from the fact that it's Mega Man. Katlock's getting soft.
KATLOCK: WHAT?!!!
SKID: AGH!!! I said... uh... Jerry Lewis should be pushed off a loft!
KATLOCK: GRRRRR!!!
SKID: Eh... uhh... err... Matlock's dating Lara Croft?
[KATLOCK narrows his eyes and shakes his head]
TOBY: We really gotta set it straight that you should come in with an intro! You shouldn't just go popping up in stories, it's dangerous and... uhm... violates fire laws... or something.
KATLOCK: Feh. You lack the vision-- you don't see the full scale of all of this! I give you complete torture and all I receive in return is badly prepared and hardly funny quips and jabs! You lacked a villain... a nemesis... an instigator! You had the evil, menacing, mysterious Katlock and his dark minions of the MST flooding your brains with confusing, badly written jargon. I helped you evolve into heroes! ...Albiet LAME heroes, but heroes none-the-less!
SKID: ...YOU'VE ONLY BEEN IN THREE EPISODES!!!
KATLOCK: And that's far too many to be around the likes of you two! I should've deleated you two from the start!
TOBY: NOOO!!! I'm too cute to die!! There's still so much to experience!! I'm still a--
SKID: Shut up!
[Is this the end of our heroes? Are their MSTing, mocking, and menacing days over? Does this spell murder for our memerably manic-- ahhh, I don't know enough "M-words." Stay tuned, true beleivers!]
Skid, Toby, Katlock, and related characters are properties of me and my special lil' company I like to call Maukingbird Press (c) 1999... 'cause it's... er... clever. MST3K, MSTing, and the like are delivered unto us thanks to the ultra-keen guys and gals at Best Brains, Inc 1999. Saints be praised.
